So, remember how I mentioned a few blogs back that I’m writing a book about family and the impact they can have on you personally and professionally? Well, here’s a sample from my baby.
Woo. It’s kind of exciting to share it. Scary as hell, but exciting. Lemme know what you think. This snippet is tentatively called, “The Pressure…”
Some of the angst and drama I suffer with my “bum” family members is just me. Like, the reality of who I am as a person and who they are. I like things quiet. They like to keep shit started. For them, everything needs to be a drama, a seven-game series. Whereas I routinely use words like whereas, and question the need for any unnecessary energy expenditures that do not advance my current business dealings. See what I mean?
There are so many similarities between my bum family members and I because, duh. We all came up together. But we’re different in as many ways as we are the same. Those differences do not always get the space and respect they deserve, however, because older family members like to get in your business, and they take a lot of your clarity and focus right along with them.
For instance, bum family members like to give their input even when no input is requested or required. They have no idea what kind of pressure that constant interference can put on you. Especially when you’re in growth mode.
It’s like, I don’t need to hear what you think all the time. If I’m listening to what you think, I can’t hear what I think. And I need to listen to myself because I’m not always sure what the h e double hockey sticks I’m doing in growth mode.
I’m distinguishing between my gut and my fears, my hang ups and legitimate barriers to my success. I’m battling insecurity, trying to satisfy clients, celebrate successes, plot a course for the future, all kinds of stuff. That’s why I need my mind clear. That’s why focus is so important.
I’ve been going through a serious transition these past few years. Building my business has been more or less successful. I consider it a success because Kellye Media has sustained me for more than two years now, and my lifestyle has not changed. No bills have been late or gone unpaid. I have not been hungry, and I basically haven’t missed a beat.
Please don’t misunderstand. This is not my doing. This is God’s favor and grace. I made some good decisions, yes. But to this day, I only have one client that I went out and got myself. I had her before I left my last job, and she’s worked with me for a long time. Other than her, all of my business has come through referral. See what I mean by God’s grace?
That doesn’t mean I haven’t hustled. That doesn’t mean I haven’t thought my way out of problems. That doesn’t mean I haven’t made mistakes, leveraged my network, learned from some pretty mean scrapes acquired along the way, that’s the point. I wouldn’t have been able to do that if my mind was constantly cluttered with bum family-related BS.
I mean, my head’s already full of my own BS, you know? What’s that phobia common to successful women where they think despite everything going right, despite every deep core belief that they can make it, they’re still going to end up living in a shoe? Is it some variation of imposter syndrome?
Well, I have that. It was shocking to realize because, conveniently, this fear didn’t manifest until after I went out on my own and the stakes couldn’t be higher. Great, right?
I worry that my money will dry up. I worry that my talent is not sufficient to compete in this highly competitive, fast paced global business world that we live in. I worry that I’m going to miss something, a critical opportunity, a signal to course correct, a relationship that needs to be severed or built or whatever.
But like most entrepreneurial women, I’m not the type to roll over and let those fears take root. I’m a fighter by design. I was raised that way – thank you bum family members – so, I hustle.
I work. I work through the fear. But the fear is real, and I struggle with it. Bills are real, and they need to be paid, which is why I wanted – why I absolutely needed – my bum family members to stop aggravating me with unnecessary mess.
It’s not personal. It’s not egregious. It’s not selfish. It’s serious. It’s about business. Survival. If I don’t work my business consistently, if I don’t plot new revenue streams, it doesn’t grow, and I don’t eat. I like to eat. So, it was like, bum family members, leave me the I can’t-invoice-this-nonsense-you’re-spouting-so-don’t-stop-wasting-my-time alone.
I literally started warning people late 2019, in 2020? Start of the new decade? Y’all are going to have some seriously hurt feelings if you expect the behavior I’ve been letting slide, to continue. Why? It’s not that I don’t love you, though I’m probably gonna be so cold blooded in the face of your future BS, you’re going to shocked.
It’s going to feel personal, but it’s not. That’s just how the game called Kellye Media will be played in 2020 and beyond. See, I’m about to go all in. I’m about to lift my skirt, show my ass – metaphorically speaking, of course – let it all hang out, and we’re gonna see where this thing can really go…
Well, what did you think? Think you’d read this book? Let me know in the comments.